As much as I don’t want to write about this subject I know that I should. I don’t want to write about it because I like to leave the past behind me and not dig up things that can be difficult to talk about. On the other hand I know that so many people are struggling silently out there and it would be plain selfish if I didn’t share my journey. So from time to time I am going to post some thoughts on this as well as my struggle with suicide, insecurity & other similar subjects. If you or someone you know struggles in these areas and have questions or thoughts or suggestions please leave a comment in the comment box below. Before I get into this I do want to make it clear that when I offer solutions they are purely what worked for me and are not going to work for everyone and my views are definitely not medical views at all.
My first real experience with depression as about 10 years ago when I was 26 years old. I may have suffered a bit as a teenager but that’s a bit of a blur so am not sure if that was depression or just normal teenage struggles. When I was 26 I started to loose my zest for life, I had no motivation & couldn’t see anything exciting about life or my future. There was no real reason for this on the outside but something wasn’t working well on the inside. I cried all the time, often for no real reason just felt really sad. I went to see a psychologist who mentioned the possibility of medication. I found the sessions with him very helpful as he helped me find out what exactly I was actually struggling with because I had no idea what I was so “sad” about all the time. I decided to first try a few things on my own before going down the medication route. There is no shame in taking the medication route at all but I asked God for keys for me and this is the journey He took me on.
1. Exercise. First of all I felt that I should go to the gym & get physically fit. I had never been to gym before but had enjoyed running & swimming in my early teens, so I have it a try. I absolutely LOVED it and have loved gym ever since!
2. Eat Well. The next step was to write down what I ate and drank every day & marked on the calendar which days I felt low & which days I was OK. I did this by putting a smiley or sad face on my calendar. It was very interesting to see that what I ate did affect me. It was a long time ago and I have forgotten a lot of what I wrote but I do find that sugar affects me a lot & caffeine. My best weeks are when I eat lots of fruit & veg along with “pure” food. I try to avoid food that has anything artificial in it.
After a few weeks of this I felt God prompting me to go for all the routine checkups that I have never bothered to do. So I went to the dentist, got my eyes tested & went for my very first pap smear – yuck! Well what happened next was just a miracle… but I will leave that for my next post!