Filing for divorce under the terms of infidelity is no longer the leading reason for marital breakups in the UK, new research has found. According to a study by accountancy firm Grant Thornton, who release an annual survey on divorce in the UK, ‘growing apart’ is now the most common reason cited for cause of divorce. The lack of emotional chemistry – or ‘falling out of love’ with their partner – has surpassed cheating as the leading cause of divorce in the country.
Since the survey began in 2003, infidelity was the number one cause of divorce, with 25% of cases citing that as the main reason for splitting up. In the most recent survey, 27% of respondents said ‘falling out of love’ was the primary cause of marriage breakdown, according to divorce lawyers.”
This immediately got me thinking about the verse in the Bible that says that ‘because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.” If we want to be a different calibre of wife, we need to understand that growing cold is a real threat in this day and age. We cannot accept this in our marriage. Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” This is the one thing that we have as Christians that the world doesn’t have and that is the ability to love in a different way.
The world’s kind of love is based on feelings and selfishness which is why it is so easy to fall out of love! When you stop feeling the feelings you once had you give up and say that you have fallen out of love. Jesus said that the world would know that we are His by our love for one another, and this applies to our marriages too. What should set Christian marriages apart from those that are not Christian should be our love for one another.
Infatuation and feelings come and go. True love is not a feeling but an act of your will. If you truly don’t want to grow cold, decide to love your husband not based on how you feel but based on your decision to love him. Ask God to give you His love for your husband, especially in the times when you find it difficult to love.
What is love after all? Love is patient with your husband and is kind to him; love does not envy your husband; love does not parade itself and boast; love does not behave rudely to your husband, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil of him; and when he makes a mistake or falls into sin, love does not point a finger and rejoice in his failure, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things with him, believes all things for him, hopes all things for him, endures all things with him. Love never fails .
If you get busy with true love, you won’t have time to grow cold. If you are busy with true love, not only will you have a great marriage but you will be a witness to those around you of God’s love. Where there is so little hope in the world today, choose to love your husband, not grow cold and offer hope to others.
Your husband is not perfect and never will be, he is a sinner just like you. Love him not because he deserves it, not because he loved you first but love him to glorify God. Loving your husband might be difficult, especially if you husband is struggling with sin that affects you, but above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. One day, you might just need your sins covered too, so don’t hold back in sowing the grace, mercy and love that you would hope to receive. Make a firm decision today that you will not grow cold.