You see, we have an emotional centre of gravity in the same way that objects have a physical centre of gravity. The physical centre of gravity can be easily understood by looking at a seesaw. If two people of very different weights sit on opposite sides of the seesaw you will see one go up and the heavy one pull towards the ground. This is the gravitational pull on the mass, clearly showing that the heavier one has more gravitational pull than the lighter one. In order to bring about perfect balance on the seesaw, the heavier one must sit closer to the centre of gravity so that they can equalize each other’s mass. Every object has a point through which its mass seems to be concentrated – this is the centre of gravity.
The emotional centre of gravity is the central point of our emotions, the foundation for all of our emotional responses. Keeping in mind that emotions in themselves are neither negative or positive but our response to them is either negative or positive, let’s agree that our centre of gravity is the place that those emotions balance on and where the responses are determined, resulting in an action. Emotional gravity is what keeps us ‘together’ just like gravity holds Earth together and our emotional centre of gravity is where the weight of our emotions is concentrated.
Our emotional centre of gravity attracts emotional experiences that keep us within this centre. This is why an angry person will get angry easily and someone who is joyful can remain joyful even through difficult times. A person’s centre of gravity will cause them to respond to their emotions in a similar way time and time again. Thankfully, it is possible to move your centre of gravity but we will get into that a bit later.
External Centre of Gravity
Consider a horseshoe. This is a great example of an object that has an external centre of gravity. Its centre of mass isn’t located at its centre, in fact, it’s not even in the object, but it is in the space outside of the object. You can’t balance a horseshoe on a pivotal point when it is lying on a horizontal plane because it has an external centre of gravity. A doughnut is another classic example of an external centre of gravity because the centre of gravity is in the centre of the doughnut – in the space inside the doughnut, not on the solid ring of mass. The position of the centre of gravity determines how stable something is. Once the centre of gravity has moved beyond the base area of an object, it will no longer be stable. Emotional gravity is no different from the earth’s gravity. When it comes to emotions, when our centre of gravity is external, we will be unstable and will not find a way to balance your emotions on any pivotal point. Here are some of the common characteristics of someone with an external centre of gravity:
When our centre of gravity is outside of ourselves we don’t trust our instincts or anything that comes from within. Rather, we trust only what others say about us. After a period of time we lose our identity and begin to base our identity on what has been said about us and in most cases even act accordingly. Another consequence of having your emotional centre of gravity outside of yourself is that you will feel empty inside because what should be inside of you is on the outside of you. Too often people with an empty inside try to fill themselves with everything except the right thing. Addictions, domestic violence, promiscuity and many other things are often the result of someone with an external centre of gravity who is trying to find satisfaction from external vices. If we dig a little deeper we will also find that workaholism, eating disorders, broken relationships and extreme competitiveness are also the result of an external centre of gravity. A person with an external centre of gravity will easily fly off the handle when they can’t cope as they are not in control of their emotions and have nothing to find balance on.